I hate being me , I hate being alone, and what the heck is wrong with me…..!!?
December 20th, 2009
I dont know what to do . I feel something is wrong with me.
I feel that I am dealing with fake people as friends, and that I am giving them the power in letting them know I want to be thier friend.
I feel like I am dealing with little kids, they are best freinds and constantly talk to each other and sit close to each other and wisper. The problem is we are in college.
I don’t know what to make of myself, for those of you familiar with facebook I constantly go online and look at the pictures that people put up of thier great adventures and wonder why that cant be me.
i was so sheltered and I dont know how to snap out of it. I’m afraid of men, I cant talk to them. women seem to be the only people I can relate to , but I’ll be damned if I end up snuggling with one, but i wouldnt mind if that was okay.
alrighty then, so here is the problem:
-I feel i have no real friends here, just fake ones
-I cannot relate to men, may be bi.
- I feel alone, I hate myself.
- I dunno what to do.
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You sound depressed, go to the school clinic and talk about it, they should be able to help. Don’t focus on getting a man or any relationship right now, fix the problem in your life and let that be the icing when you’re happy with it.
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take advice from no one.
let no one decide what to do with your life but you.
(this is not an advice, just my opinion)
cheer up!
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First and foremost, you should seek professional counseling for your situation. You have a lot of unresolved issues and the sooner you deal with them, the better. I can assure you that there are plenty of good people around, decent, joyful people with whom you can make real friends. Life in general is sometimes difficult and troublesome, but there is nothing wrong with you in recognizing this. Focus in the real things, which means look around you for less fortunate persons who might need some real help. Stop focusing so much on yourself, because by doing this, you will surely start to feel empty and alone.
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Whoa kiddo, always remember that things get better and I hate to say this, but as you get older, you’ll realize this. Get yourself away from your current situation and really put yourself out there–there are always other people who feel exactly like you. It’s hard to switch friend groups (cliques) but get outta there!
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WOW. I strongly suggest that you don’t snuggle up to another woman, this will only complicate your life even more, at this point in time. Don’t expect too much from yourself. If you feel that your friends are fake, then it’s up to you to find new and real friends. Go out to different social get togethers and meet new people. Do you belong to a Church? They have some great and mostly free activities. You could even speak to a counsellor there. Ultimately it’s up to you the way you get treated by other people. If you allow them to whisper in your presence, they will do it. You need to tell them that it’s not OK. They may not like it because they are not true friends. You don’t need people like that in your life.
Once you’ve sorted this out, you can then go and find a man to share the rest of your life with. Don’t be in a hurry. Sort your life out first. Everything will work out, just take one step at a time. You are a beautiful creation. You are loved and God loves and cares for you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are special.
God cares for you
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Well it sounds to me that you’ve got the art of self-sabotage mastered. Believe me it takes one to know one. There have been times in my life that I have felt like my whole being and everything that goes along with it was in a complete downward spiral. How did I get out of it? Well the first thing to realize is that you will create what you think about, what you talk about, and what you live, and honestly, it all sounds really negative right now.
The first thing that you need to do is realize that your life is YOURS, and you can make it what you want. The first and most important thing you should do is create something positive in your life. Haven’t you noticed that when something bad happends, that everything seems to start going wrong? The same is true for the good things. You need to start the flow of positive things in your life. Pick a day where you can create that. A day where you don’t have to worry about friends, men, anything that makes you feel yuck. Plan things that you like to do. Bubble bath to start the day, see a feel good movie, create something(pull out the artist in you, whether its a scrapbook of pictures, pot some flowers for your place, paint, etc.). Read a juicy book. Take a walk or jog. I know, I don’t like to exercise either, but it’s proven that it gets feel good harmones going in your body. Just focus on doing something you enjoy for yourself. Then make sure that you do something to this effect every few days. When I felt like nothing was going right in my life, these little things really helped me see something good for me.
As for your friends, if you feel your friends are fake, lose them. I’ve had to do that with people I have know for long times, but every time that we talked they made me feel like the worst thing to walk the earth, and I am far from it. It may be a hard thing to do at first, but as you get rid of these people who make you feel bad, you’ll open the doors for people in your life who will lift you up, instead of making you feel tore down.
I think as far as men go, it may be totally related to everything else. If you hate yourself, how can any relationship work (man or woman). Your confidence in yourself is just low right now. I think as you start to create some good in your life, you may see things get easier in this area.
Just know that changing things take some time and some commitment to yourself that you aren’t going to let yourself settle for mediocre anything anymore. Find something you enjoy, then throw yourself in it. You’ll start to find that things will start to eek out of your life little by little!!!
Wishing you the best!!!
Contact me with any other questions you may have.
God cares for you
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Wow….alot of question….and WELL LUCKY YOU I usually have alot of ANSWER LMAO.
I wanted to type something along the lines of “Jesus you are so smart..how could you let people sitting and whispering affect you” and then I remembered how it was.
I cannot begin to tell you how to “get over it” just know this YOU WILL. Get off the computer, take a walk, eat, drink a great cup of coffee. How can you ever expect to NOT be alone if you are looking at people on the computer, talking to people on the computer and posting on the computer.
Men are not your hang up….you just need a hug and affection and some YOU time. And if affection comes from a woman SO BE IT. At some point you will get it and experience is experience.
Lastly…..please don’t ever say you hate yourself. That is just Stupid. You may be a little off right now….but I guarantee the bud you are now will soon bloom into an amazing flower.
We all felt this way….believe me…lucky you that this is the computer age and you can vent to a million amazing people. When I felt that way I could only write in my journal, eat some Taco Bell and watch Seinfeld. I wish I could let you see some of the things I wrote LMAO.
Love to you darling….this too will pass.
God cares for you
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It seems like your trying to figure out who you are, what you like and who you want to be friends with. Why do you have a problem with men? Unless there is more to it, just because women are the only ones you can talk to does mean your bi and if you are it’s not a bad thing. It sounds like your having a really bad day and your uncomfortable in your own skin. You want to be social but you don’t like how you feel when your around your friends. You want to be like the kind of people on face book but it is the idea of what these people may be like that makes you believe your lacking something. Don’t compare yourself to other people. You are who you are and the key is finding out what your values are and living by them. It doesn’t mean you are going to try to be some dream like image of someone you are not. It means, what is important to you? You want friends who aren’t fake. Write down a list of your strength’s on a day when your in a good mood. Better yet when your alone. You are in control of what you want. You may not feel it right now but you have choices. You don’t have to hang out with thoughts people. You can be around who ever you want. Don’t let your fear hold you back. Try something new even if you fail. Then try again, you may surprise yourself.
God cares for you
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Wow Brother I only can say to you God is the answer. The Lord is a real friend he is sufficient to carry all our anguishes and our weaknesses. Your circumstance is not the final thing. God is our living, ours creative and has the power to change all situation. I what to recommend to you please read the psalm 23 in the Holy Bible.
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
God Bless you Brother for ever
The Holy Spirit
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i think u need to see the psychologist or something…
you are what u are and not what other pple think u areso like the way u are made and relate more with pple.b ur real self..
The Holy Spirit
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YOUR NOT ALONE!!! Rest assured, college is a funny time. Although it may be fun for many, from being a non trad student, it is so evident being on the outside looking in, and not getting caught up. First and for most, during the age from about 18-23, most guys are complete posers. Its all an act, and for effect. The girls, eat the attention up which is given to them from these guys, and dont consider the source. What matter in life is QUALITY, not QUANTITY. People think you need a ton of friends, but those who do, are the ones that have very little sense of indenity, because they conform to what people expect of them, and cater towards their needs. The good thing is that you realize this, many dont. I go to school with a lot of younge people who “get it” and acknowledge the fact that they are fully aware most the people who they say they are their friends, are really not. WHATS THE SAYING ABOUT IF YOU HAVE A FEW REALLY GOOD FRIENDS, YOU ARE VERY LUCKY, WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU THINK THAT IMPLIES. Many people go through life oblvious to the fact that their “friends” arent really friends. Be true to yourself, trust your instinct. Dont let others define who you are, by living to please them, live for yourself. I still have a lot to learn, but trust me, I have figured A LOT of shit out. Not getting caught up in the whole scence helped me a great deal, and I wouldnt have changed a thing. I really couldnt see myself being any other way.
The Holy Spirit
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